There is freedom in creative play. But I’m realising being playful can sometimes be difficult. I’m exploring these new tangents. Entering uncharted waters. Cautiously dipping the toe in…
What starts to kill off play is when I start being critical of what I’m doing. Where is this going? Is this absurd? No one will understand. I’m wasting materials. No one will buy my work. I’ll end up a poor misunderstood artist making art no one ‘gets’…
Yes, these thoughts unfortunately drift in my mind from time to time.
After coming across Zander’s talk on TEDS I decided to read one of his books. He mentions in one story the secret Rule No 6: “don’t take yourself so g-damn seriously.” Hmm… perhaps a remedy to anti-play? Which is serendipitously, 5IGN for the week.
4 days ago
“What does it mean - this is the question that taxes me the most, and it continues to vex me now that I’ve finished this book - for people to spend their entire lives looking at objects clearly designed for expressive purposes, and not be moved even once (in any circumstance, for any reason, no matter how indefensible) to the point of actually shedding a tear?
I am not sure. But I know that a loveless life is easy to live.”
- James Elkins, art historian, Pictures and Tears, p. 217
Finally finished Pictures & Tears. Intriguing book. Which started making me think about any incidents relating to painting and tears in my own art practice.
The only time I remember tears falling was when I was in high school. One of my teachers saw the large drawing I was working on. I remember I was sitting on the ground, actually, on the drawing itself because it was so big. I remember looking up and seeing clear drops forming on her glasses. When I look back on the drawing, I cringe because I can see the illusion of youthful dreams and my shortcomings. I was blind as to what the drawing was. So I am curious as to what she saw and experienced.
Strangely enough, I haven’t cried in front of a painting. The closest that I’ve come was at the recent J.W. Waterhouse exhibtion when I saw “Lamia”. It wasn’t even the entire painting that moved me. Just a small section. Just her right hand. I nearly missed it. It was amazing, and to me, it stunned me. I looked at it. Stepped back. Dove in for a closer look. The gallery was packed. I looked around and it seemed no one else noticed what Waterhouse had achieved in this small section of the painting. He had captured something - some quality, or essence of life. When you saw the painting in the flesh, one could sense it was a real hand. It was full of feeling and it possessed the warm sensitivity of touch…
Beautiful.
I hope no one googles or tries to see a reproduction of “Lamia” after I’ve just described it. Paintings like this can only really be experienced in the flesh. Anything else is just a mere ghost or shadow of the actual object itself. When I saw a couple Millais’ at the Tate Britain on the weekend, this just brought this message closer to home. There is something abrasive that happens when a memory/thought doesn’t entirely match up when the real thing is experienced. I had enjoyed and relished his “Ophelia” when I was in high school. And in my mind had pictured it large and grand. I wasn’t prepared for the smallness and detailed brushwork of the painting. Or the clear intensity of colour and light.
Paintings like this make me think that contemporary art has lost so much. Everything is taken for granted, often gratuitous. Ideas for their own sake. Nothing is sustained.
James Elkins will give a talk at Frieze this thursday, What do artist know?
I’m hoping he sheds some light.
3 weeks ago
Been interesting days and been having some interesting talks and discussions with other artists. All of which has left me thinking about the myriad of possibilities that exist and the expansive, dynamic breadth of art. It also can be a bit overwhelming. One can feel like a deer in the headlights, paralyzed with the flood of options streaming in. There is a bit of a push and pull going on inside. Part of me wants to experiment and try everything down to the silliest idea that passes through my mind. Another part wants to set boundaries, limits and reference points so that something worthwhile can be achieved and worked towards. Maybe it’s all about balance in the end. Not really sure where it’s all going. Have put the job search on hold. Am aware of time ticking and $$$ draining away… but I think I need to spend time working on things that matter to me. It feels risky. I’m hoping in October some of the dust will settle and some clarity will arise.
Some playful snaps from this week…
1 month ago
I haven’t painted for close to three months now. And just when I thought it was beginning to take its toll, I received some great news this week. I’ve been offered a place with the Florence Trust studio residency in Highbury & Islington. It’s in a pretty funky little church. Tis all a bit exciting and I’m curious as to see what will arise over the next year. I’m looking forward to the hard work, getting to meet other artists and having some mentorship. I really am a bit gobsmacked about it all. :) I think virginia woolf was onto something in a room of one’s own.
A couple of happy snaps along the way to work today. There’s a lightness in the step, as things are beginning to turn…
4 months ago
